Pass Rider – a New Board Game

Someday when I have run out of things to do, I’m going to invent a new board game so that people who don’t have pass travel privileges can experience the excitement of “non-revving.”

To give you a preview of how the game would work, let’s walk through a typical experience:

Roll the dice and advance 4 squares. It’s looking like a good day to get on a flight.

Roll the dice and advance 3 squares. Take a card. Congratulations! There are 6 seats available on your preferred flight and you’re at the top of the standby list. Advance to the check-in desk to receive your seat assignment.

Roll the dice and advance 6 squares. Uh oh! You’ve landed on the fuel load square. The loadmaster has decided to reduce the number of seats by 7 in order to load more fuel because of bad weather. Go back to square one!

Roll the dice and advance 3 squares. It’s early in the day and there are a lot of flights to choose from. Looking good!

Roll the dice and advance 5 squares. Take a card. Congratulations! Both legs of your flight have more than 20 seats available and you’re 5^th on the standby list. You’re going places today! Advance to the check in desk to receive your seat assignment.

Roll the dice and advance 4 squares. Sorry! Your flight has been payload optimized. Tear up your seat assignment and go back to square one!

Roll the dice and advance 2 squares. Congratulations! You got the last seat. Advance to the check-in desk to receive your seat assignment, then go ahead and start down the jet bridge. The plane will be leaving soon.

Roll the dice and advance 3 squares. Oh no! the gate agent miscounted. There’s no seat for you after all! Please leave the jet bridge so this plane can take off. Return to square one! Have a nice day!

Roll the dice and advance 5 squares. Things are looking great. Your international flight has some available seats in first class. And another 20 in coach. Looks like you’re going abroad, you adventuresome globetrotter!

Roll the dice and advance 5 squares. Things are still looking great.

Roll the dice and advance 4 squares. Oh no! Another international flight has been cancelled and they’re all coming to your flight. Please proceed to the check in desk to receive your seat assignment for row “lav adjacent,” middle seat. Oh, btw, the seat doesn’t recline, but the seat in front of you does!

Roll the dice and advance 3 squares. Uh oh! That mesh tank top you threw on this morning because you were out of clean laundry has come back to haunt you. Your garment does not meet your airline’s pass rider dress code. Please advance to the gift shop to purchase an $80 sweatshirt.

Roll the dice and advance 4 squares. Whomp-whomp. Your seat was taken by a higher-seniority co-worker who just showed up at the airport and decided to go on an adventure. Return to square one.

Roll the dice and advance 4 squares. Things are looking OK for your next flight.

Roll the dice and advance 3 squares. Take a card. Weather delays in the South have caused cancellations system-wide. There are no open flights for the rest of the day and you don’t have money for a hotel. Find a comfortable spot to sleep, because you’re going to be here all night! Good thing you bought that sweatshirt. It will make a nice pillow. Return to square one and sleep tight!

Roll the dice and advance 6 squares. Things always look better in the morning. You can book a flight going to the opposite coast. May the non-rev gods be with you today.

Roll the dice and advance 4 squares. There’s a flight with space, but it’s on the other side of the airport and the doors close in 4 minutes. Run, Forrest, run!

Roll the dice and advance 5 squares. Take a card. Doh! They just closed the door as you were running up. Door’s closed. Sucks to be you! Go back to square one.

Roll the dice and advance 4 squares. Looking good!

Roll the dice and advance 3 squares. Take a card. Dingdingdingding! You’re going to New York! You were 4^th in line with only 1 seat remaining, but the 3 ahead of you were traveling together and don’t want to split up. You get the last seat on the plane! Bon Voyage!