A Master Class in Travel: Kampala, Uganda to Maputo, Mozambique Overland -Final Exam-Part I

This week we have a guest poster, my Africa travel companion, Mr. K.

If you think you know the answers, please post in the comments. I’ll post the key later this week.

Choose the one best answer for each:

1. Barely moving in heavily congested traffic downtown Kampala, a mirror you didn’t know you had on your car, quickly tangles and untangles with another car’s mirror, leaving no apparent damage to either car.  Despite what you consider a near miss-the driver and passengers of the other car appear livid.  You should:

1. Call the police.
2. Speed away.
3. Open your window and apologize profusely.
4. Call an Ugandan lawyer.
5. Call an American lawyer.

2. When crossing into Tanzania, the Tanzanian customs officer asks, “What’s in the car?” Your best response is:

1. “My wife and she’s pregnant” (she’s not your wife and she’s not pregnant but you’re hoping for expedited, VIP treatment).
2. To hand him the receipts for all your electronics ~$ 6,000 worth (you’ve brought copies) but make sure to tell him the Satellite phone is rented.
3. To show him all your cash in various currencies ~ $2,000.
4. To refuse to answer and demand to see the nearest American consulate officer on call for citizen emergencies.
5. “Just personal items.”

3. A little farther down the road you see a policeman about 20 feet off the road under a tree, staring at the top of his shoe.  He’s armed, alone and without a vehicle of any sort.  You should:

1. Slow down, roll down your window and see if he calls to you-be prepared to stop.
2. Focus on a point directly ahead of you, ignore him, maintain your speed and instruct your co-pilot to keep her nose in a book.
3. Stop and ask him if it’s OK to proceed.
4. Stop and ask him what road conditions are like further down the road.
5. Stop, roll down your window, keep your hands clearly visible & refuse to say anything except that you demand to see the nearest American consulate officer on call for citizen emergencies.

4. A few days later, you’re in Malawi.  An armed policeman is in the middle of the road clearly asking you to pull over.  His compatriot is next to a car nearby.  You should:

1. Pull over and say, “greetings my African brother, I do believe that you have the good fortune to be a policeman in the most beautiful country in all of Africa.”
2. Duck and “floor it” while deftly steering around him and missing the oncoming petrol truck.
3. Pull over and say, “greetings my African brother.  I come from America on a mission for Madonna.  She’s looking for another child.  Do you know of any that need adopting?”
4. Pull over and roll down the window just enough to pass a one hundred dollar bill through.
5. Stop, roll down your window, keep your hands clearly visible & refuse to say anything except that you demand to see the nearest American consulate officer on call for citizen emergencies

5. Also, in Malawi you get caught with a flat on the main north/south road, which is paved but strictly 2 lanes.  You’re on a slope, just beyond a curve, with no shoulder.  The car is brought to rest half in a ditch, which seems to be the best way to provide you with some chance of changing the tire without being involved in an accident.  You’re dozens of miles from the nearest small town and over 100 miles from the small cities of Blantyre and Lilongwe.  You determine that the jack with you is too short to lift the vehicle sufficiently.  What‘s the best solution?

1. Ask all the children gathered around to go and ask their fathers if you can borrow one of their car jacks.
2. Use the satellite phone to call AAA, giving them your GPS coordinates.
3. Call a local tow truck or road service crew.
4. Separate, with one of you going in search of a jack perhaps in the nearest town while the other one waits with the car.
5. Listen to the small shy boy who points out that the large trucks regularly passing by are likely to have a big jack, flag one of these trucks down.